Ohana means family!

Hawaii was amazing and by far one of the best trips we have taken so far.
Each year, I take Ethan on a trip for his birthday. This little tradition started in 2014 when we moved to the DC area. We didn’t have any family or friends here for a birthday party so we started taking trips to celebrate his birthday. This year, he decided he wanted to go to Hawaii and wanted to bring his little brother along so like always, I found a way to make it happen.

 

This vacation is one we will talk about forever. I don’t know how we are going to top this vacation next year. We went food truck hopping in search of Hawaii's best spicy garlic shrimp, snorkeled with the sea turtles in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, parasailed 1000ft above the Waikiki Beach, went to Chief’s Luau- the only luau in Honolulu led by a village chief, and learned the true meaning of Ohana. The 9 hour flight was definitely worth the experience. This year’s trip was one we will remember for a lifetime not only for the destination but the people we created memories on this trip with.

Ohana means family in the Hawaiian language, but in a much wider sense, to include not only one's closer relatives, but also one's cousins, in-laws, friends, race, and other neighbors. The idea is also that family and friends are bound together, and everyone must work together and not forget each other. Which is exactly what this vacation was about- creating unforgettable moments with the people we love.

 

Ethan’s brother Nas & his mother Asha joined us on vacation this year. Five days in paradise with our blended family. Yes, you read that right, we went on vacation with my son’s brother and his mom. We shared a suit with each family having their own room and sharing the living room. It was like our little apartment for five days. Our boys have not seen each since 2015 so this was long overdue, and it just happened to be on a beautiful island. They live in California and we are in Maryland so the distance makes it changeling to get the boys together often. Our boys were inseparable the entire trip building a brotherly bond. Nas told Ethan he wants to be like him, which made Ethan realize he has someone looking up to him. Since we have returned to Maryland, Ethan has been telling everyone who will listen about his time with his brother. Living on opposites coast it’s up to us moms to make sure our kids have a bond. We have facetime calls and make sure our boys stay in touch.

 

Over the years Asha and I have become very close, so naturally we make sure our boys stay in touch and have a relationship. It’s always been this way, from the moment we 1st talked we have always stayed in touch and built a relationship outside of our kids, just a genuine friendship. We talk about our love lives, family and vent to each other. If I ever get married, I’ve always said I would ask her to be one of my bridesmaids. When I tell people I’m friends with my baby daddy, other baby momma they give me a blank stare and I understand why. Coming from where I am from, I rarely saw a successful co-parenting relationship let alone a friendship between women who share the same child’s father. It takes a lot of maturity, growth and love for your children to get to this space. As parents it’s up to you to help create these types of bonds for your children. As close as I am with my sister, I couldn’t imagine my son not having a bond with his brother.  

 

When I was 12 my mom, step dad and my step mom took me & my siblings on vacation together. Our mothers always made sure we had a relationship despite our father’s involvement. When our dad passed away our mothers continued to keep us together and ensured we had a sisterly bond. I thank them for showing me how it should be done and creating a new norm for me & my siblings. I come from a line of strong resilient women who have set the standard high and every day I strive to fill their shoes. Which is why I think my relationship with Asha works so well. We both are focused on putting our kids in the best situations, we have similar interest and we have strong women surrounding us.

 

Our situation isn’t ideal, but it works for us, not only are we friends we are now family. We were given lemons and made lemonade. I encourage all parents to build these types of relationships, you may find out you have more in common that you think. You never know where it could lead you.

 

 

“Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten”

― Lilo and stitch