It’s my favorite time of year. The leaves are changing, the weather is cooler and basketball season has finally arrived.
I once looked forward to fall for the thigh high boots, miniskirts and leather jackets now I look forward to seeing Ethan being the big man on the court, protecting the rim & blocking everything that comes his way. Basketball has given us another interest to bond over and share a mutual love for.
As being a basketball mom has become one of the many hats I now wear, I had to learn how to navigate this new world. He’s only been playing a year and I have learned so much about the life of a sports mom. Some of these things I wish someone would have told me before we made this commitment, because it’s a commitment and not for the faint hearted. I have even considered a part time job to cover the basketball related expenses because it can get pricy.
We spend hours in traffic to attend practice on the other side of town, weekends on the road traveling from city to city and countless hours with his teammates and their parents. Joining a youth AAU sports team has become a major part of our life full of highs and lows, ups and downs and memories and friendships that will last a life time.
As we prepare for the first travel tournament in Pennsylvania I began to think about the most important things I have learned so far on this journey & hope they can give insight to other single mothers looking to sign their little baller up for AAU sports.
1. Commit to the team.
Once you make a commitment to a team stick with it. This will teach your athlete the importance of committing to something and following through no matter how hard things may get. Commitment is a key principle to success. Ask for the schedule and fees that are due beforehand if you are not sure if it’s something you can fully commit to. The kids are depending on your kid to show up to practices and games. So commit and follow through and if for some reason you aren't able to do so communicate that.
2. Get to know the other parents.
For 10 months out the year Ethan is playing basketball, this includes weekly practices, weekend games and traveling to different states for tournaments. So naturally the kids will want to hang out off the court from sleepovers, birthday parties and play dates, it’s important to know the kids your athlete is hanging with and their parents. These long hours in the gym seem to fly by when you’re around company you know and enjoy. Plan a mom’s day out to get to know each other outside of basketball. Your kids will ask to hang out outside of basketball, getting to know their teammates parents provide a sense of security when those sleep over questions arise.
3. Make sure your child is having fun.
As much as I love basketball, I need Ethan to love it too. I always ask him if he’s still having fun. The moment I see he is burnt out we are done with it. I also know my child and I know when he tells me he’s burnt out just because he wants to play video games all day or because practice was too hard. When your kid is having fun that joy will transfer on to the court & field.
4. Don’t take the sports drama seriously.
You will seriously stress yourself out if you keep up with the never-ending basketball drama. I remember when we first started and each week I was having a shouting match with another mom who was upset that my kid blocked their kid ball or thought he fouled too hard. Truth is, after the game most times the players completely forget about the foul or stare down the other player gave them. If you try to remember each parent, you had an exchange of words with you’ll drive yourself crazy. I have seen these basketball games get very heated between the parents and the kids will walk off joking with each other.
5. Be mindful of the recruiter.
Youth basketball is a $15 billion-dollar business. It’s run by people who don’t always have the best interest of the kid in mind, I learned this early on. Often, single mothers like myself are the target of these people looking to use your child to benefit them & their secret agenda. They see us at the games alone with no man around and think we are oblivious to their shady tactics. Their ways of getting in maybe be asking you on a date, offering free training for your athlete, or paying for their sports dues. You must be mindful that people with ill intentions exist and even in the youth sports world adults have their own agenda. I have had coaches reach out to ask if I would take my son off his current team to help their team -beat his current team. Crazy right? I have also had NBA agents reach out to me to discuss Ethan’s plan for high school, as if he didn’t just enter the fourth grade. I always tell Ethan to work hard and if the NBA is truly in his future he will get there with hard work and dedication.
6. It’s ok to miss a game.
We all need breaks and a little time for self-care. Just as your athlete will get burnt out, you will too. If you’re like me a single mom living in a city with no family, you’re at every game and some days you need to run errands or simply sleep while your kid is honing their skills. As much as I enjoy seeing Ethan play, I also know when I need a break. When we 1st started basketball, I never missed a game, after all who is going to protect my son from the crazy mom yelling at him from the stands. As I got to know the other parents, I’m comfortable sending Ethan to games with them because I know they’ll protect him as if he was their own, if needed. Missing a game doesn’t make you a bad parent and it’s not the end of the world if you do.
It's not easy being a single mom or the only single mom on the team. I'm learning to navigate the youth sports world with help of the people who I have met along the way. These tips have helped me to become more involved in Ethan's sports journey & helped us bond more over something he loves.
As we continue to become more immersed in this new world I am eager to see how much better he gets, how much more deeply he falls in love with the game and how far his passion for basketball can take him.
Post a Comment