Ball is Life.

Happy New Year! I know, I know I’m late.

It’s my first post of 2019 and January is nearly over. Since mid December I have been consistently on the go. Now that Ethan's basketball season has started it doesn't seem like i'll have any down time any time soon. 9/10 if you have asked me to make plans I tell you I can't because Ethan has basketball. It's become a joke between my friends and I that I can't hangout because Ethan has practice.

He is playing AAU for a great organization that has really welcomed us. The coaches are really dedicated to developing the kids and nurturing the love of the game. Ethan is playing for two teams, he's on an 8u team & a 9u team. Playing on two teams will help him develop the fundamentals. On the 8u team, he has more of a presence on the court. The 9u team gives him a chance to be a role player. He’s practicing three days during the week with 2-6 games every Saturday and Sunday. When I say ball is life, I MEAN it and I know this is just the beginning.

Before the season started his coach told me to get ready. Get ready to defend Ethan’s age every weekend. As a 5’3” 8 year old, Ethan will have his birthdate questioned by parents around the league. This has proved to be true, as I’m always reconfirming the obvious. Sometimes, I overhear parents making unnecessary remarks about him like “if he’s 8, then I’m 8. I’m dressing up and playing too.” One team even got a kid from their older team to suit up during halftime to guard Ethan. On other days, spectators are expecting Ethan to be a better player because of his height. It is really a double edged sword. With his height comes scrutiny, overpromising from coaches from other teams(in hopes of me allowing them to train him or play for their team) and high expectations which can create insecurities in Ethan.

If it’s tough as a parent for me to always defend his height, imagine what it’s like for the kid in a teenager’s body. He’s eights years old, 5’3 and wears a size 11 men’s shoe. He has to have his desk lifted at school to accommodate his continuous growing, he’s too big to play in the Chick-Fil-A playground and can’t ride certain rides at amusement parks due to his height. At times, it bothers him; for me, it’s hard knowing he wants to do age appropriate things with his friends that he can’t due to something he can’t control. Often times I remind him that he is extraordinary and his height is a gift.

Ethan has always been, and will always be, an exceptionally tall kid. Though he was three weeks premature, he weighed 8 pounds and was 20.5in. When he was younger, I would tell his teachers and parents not to point out his height. It made him timid and feel like an outcast. As he has gotten older, I have made it my business to celebrate his height- it’s not slowing down anytime soon. When his height is mentioned, I bring up something positive about being tall and he has started to see it as a positive as well. Someone recently posted him an AAU fan page on Facebook. They mentioned his size and I was instantly in defense mode because I don't want him to live in his father's shadow and I want basketball to be something he enjoys playing and doesn't feel obligated to do. When I told Ethan about it, he just thought it was so cool that he was on Facebook. He’s finally starting to be comfortable in his body and it’s showing with his confidence on the floor. He had his first double double this weekend. When he finally realizes his potential and masters the fundamentals, he’s going to dominate on the floor and that will help build his confidence while increasing his love of the game.

I’m always looking for those teachable moments for Ethan which is why I was so excited when his teacher recommended the book "Red: A Crayon's Story." It is about a blue crayon that has red paper wrapped around it. The book seeks to teach kids about diversity. In the book the other crayons expected Red to color red, but he couldn’t because he was blue. The other crayons tried to force him to color red but he couldn’t. That’s just not who he was. He became discouraged and felt like an outcast until he was needed to draw something blue. This was a teachable moment for me because I was able to relate this to our everyday life. I let Ethan be himself regardless of what other people think he SHOULD be.

Motherhood has no playbook, there is no training manual and for a single mom it’s sometimes scary but I won’t let my fear discourage me. I’m his biggest cheerleader, through the good and bad games. I’m there every step of the way cheering for #20.